Dear Merna....My Boyfriend is Texting Another Woman Often! Help!
I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years and it’s been great up until a few months ago. He stopped texting and calling me during the day, he always has an excuse why he’s always late coming home from work. He also has grown close to the secretary at his job. They text all the time even though he says he does not have time to text me or call me. Do you think I have anything to worry about? He still tells me he loves me and we still have a great sex life. But we very seldom talk. Please help me over come the trust issue that I am obviously having. Trusting Terribly Dear Trusting Terribly! First, I want to say how common this very question is from many coaching clients over the years. Wish I had a dollar for every time someone thought this! There are many clues here that everything is fine when we look at the natural actions by men and women. Men and women are very different with our communication goals and we try to ‘read’ the other with our innate instincts without thinking twice. Oh, sooo wrong especially when fear is mixed in! There is most likely more than one thing going on here. As a coach, I would ask you many questions. For instance, did you trust him before this? Have you always had trust issues? Have you discussed this with him? I wish there was this magic crystal ball I can look in for you, but I cannot. (I would in an instant) Women naturally bond by talking, chatting, sharing with our friends. Would you agree? Look at any Coffee House and the majorities are women sharing with others. This is one of our natural innate bonding rituals we are born with. The more we talk, the more we feel closer to the person we are speaking with. Now, when we see our fella doing the same with another women we ‘fear’ this is happening too. Men simply do not bond on the deeper level like women when this happens. Now again, this does not mean someone "untrustworthy" isn't doing something wrong. Has either of you ever had an emotional affair? This also does NOT excuse his lack of attention to your and your relationship! You mention some key points that are still strong in your relationship. Great sex life, length of time together, he tells you he loves you… All strong clues “he thinks” everything is wonderful and should be. There is never a black and white answer, but rather a process of discovery, learning, and more in relationships. Trusting Terribly, I do have more questions and would love to help you really put this to rest and get to the bottom of it once and for all. In addition, put those trust issues to rest so they do not haunt you further. When you are ready to talk in a private one on one session with me, click the link below and learn how we can do this. Lastly, I have an online class solely for Communication skills, “Rock your Relationships!" Check it out below. You learning more with communication can drastically change your relationships greatly! It only takes one person to start making changed for the communication to improve. Always here when you need! Merna
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